Reconnecting with the Past

A blast from the past has unexpectedly made themselves known.

A girl I dated for a short time a few years ago started texting me out of the blue. It’s always a surprise when something like this occurs. But it’s a nice surprise. Why? While most people seem to get skeeved, or creeped, out by someone from their past making an attempt to catch up, I welcome the conversation. It’s happened a few times, but they’ve always ended well (at least from my end of the phone!). But I enjoyed this girl’s company while we were together, however short it was.

Like I said, we “dated” a few years ago. I’m not even sure I can call it dating because it was only a few times that we actually went out. Actually, we had a funny interaction on our first date in that I suggested we called it a “hang out” instead of a “date” just so we didn’t feel too uncomfortable and awkward (Good idea right?)!! I met her in The City one night after a friend’s birthday. We were on one of those booze cruise ships where you had to dress a little snazzy, plus it was for a birthday, as I said, so I didn’t want to look like a total schlub, so I was wearing a collared shirt with a vest, some nice jeans and sweet dress shoes (I was looking pretty good if I may say, you would’ve fell for it too). The booze cruise went shorter than I anticipated and we docked at around 11:30. This would have been an early night for me, so I was curious if anyone else wanted to go out, I had a friend of mine with me and he was ready to go as well, but the majority of people had to catch trains back to Connecticut and Long Island. My friend and I left everyone at that point and decided to have an adventure of our own.

He suggested going to the West Village to scour the scene. I was hesitant because I really didn’t hang out in the West Village all that much, but I let him take me there since the last time I met him over in the area we had a good time at Wilfie & Nell’s. But, when we made our way over there, it was about half past midnight and the bar was packed! We looked around to see what other place there was to go, and that was when we saw it, Diablo Royale!

We wandered over across the street to where it was, my buddy had never been there so he couldn’t give any reviews about it, but it seemed low-key, a place where a couple of dudes could just chill and drink a few before departing. So we enter the establishment and we both notice that it isn’t as empty as we had originally presumed. The bar area was packed! My friend and I squeezed in at the corner of the bar and had a few beers before he decided to call it quits for the night. So there I was, alone at the bar amidst a group of people just finishing my beverage. Not weird or creepy at all, right (That’s rhetorical!)?

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I see these two girls talking to each other about a guy situation. A blonde with short hair sitting with her back to me and a brunette facing my direction. I followed along with the conversation that the brunette was leading for a bit, and thought it was pretty entertaining. I thought she was attractive so I figured, why not!? Then, I found the right time and interjected something along the lines of, “just get rid of the guy!” This is something I do when working retail and people are talking in front of me about something either while I’m showing them some clothes or at the register, but I had never tried it at the bar before this. What happened next was very interesting. They both laughed!! Conversation flowed after that, but died out between myself and the brunette as some other guys joined their party, but I found the blonde attractive as well and more responsive to my quips. She was just cool basically.

So I stuck around for a few more drinks to talk to her for a little bit longer. The one thing I remember is talking about an open wine dispenser that anybody could have drugged and her response being both surprised and in agreement, while laughing! Later on, her friends wanted to leave to go to another spot nearby. Before she left, I asked for her number and she basically said “why not!?” Yes, I believe that was her actual response.

We eventually got together for a couple of dates, but she was going through some things with an ex, I believe, and things eventually stopped. But we kept in touch every now and then. Last summer, we had a phone conversation for a couple of hours. Very strange considering we were still basically strangers, but there was something there that I couldn’t put my finger on that made both of us comfortable enough to just say whatever we wanted to each other, no matter how strange or weird our comments sounded. It was just fun to be on the level with someone.

Why only a phone conversation? We were supposed to meet up, but things came up and I got really busy and she moved away. After that conversation I looked at it as a missed opportunity with a great girl with whom I was comfortable talking to. But, these things happen.

So, to my surprise, I received a text from the same girl basically saying “Hi” after a year and I didn’t think it was weird (It could be because we are both weird, but that’s beside the point)! It actually made me wonder what could have been had things shaken out differently. But, we pretty much picked up right where we left off after the pleasantries of “how are you” and “what are you doing” questions.

Basically what I’m saying is, it’s good to catch up with people from the past every now and then, it makes you remember the good times and moments you’ve had together. But if you can’t reconnect, I’m sure there’s a good reason why you haven’t.

Have any of you ever reconnected with someone that you used to date or from your past in general?

Currently Listening To:

St. Lucia – Elevate

The First Four Matches and Analysis

With the NCAA Tournament well underway with the First Four games of the tournament, I thought to myself “self, we should do our own First Four analysis!” About NCAA Basketball? While I’m sure I can make a valiant attempt at it, I probably couldn’t do it justice (at least not now anyway, and certainly not in this forum!). Instead, I will do an analysis of the First Four matches that I’ve had on Tinder!

Being brand spanking new to the scene, I was curious to see what would work and what didn’t. Through these introductory conversations, you can easily tell what works and what doesn’t. Perhaps this will be a help to all you guys out there, and you can do it while watching the NCAA Tournament!

First Match

Over 30 miles away from my central destination. Meaning she probably lives in New Jersey. She’s an attractive 29 year-old woman with a Bob Marley quote in her profile. Once I get the “match” notification from Tinder, I send a message to her. The message was, “Hi, Tinder said we liked each other haha. How are you?”

Result? No response. In retrospect, that introduction comes off a little weird. While weird works for me in the “real world” while meeting people (I’m more of a conversationalist), I understand it could be taken the wrong way online.

Second Match

About 15-20 miles away from my location. This is a little more tricky, as she could be anywhere from Brooklyn, Connecticut or anywhere in between. My guess is Brooklyn judging from her pictures, she had a bit of a hipster vibe. She has a fake name and a fake age (108!) listed on her profile, the only link into who she is revolves around a quote from C.S. Lewis, one that I enjoyed. I send over, “Hey, how’s it going? Nice CS Lewis quote.”

Result? A response! “Hey” and “It’s good rite?” Upon receiving these separate messages, I responded “I think so, gets ya thinking. What’s your name? And you look good for 108 haha.” Result? No response. In retrospect, perhaps it was too early to ask serious questions like I did and I should’ve just gone more into the quote. But, it was going to come sooner or later.

Third Match

Around 10-15 miles away from me. It is certain I’ve found someone who lives on the same island as me! Very exciting to say the least. Very attractive 23 year-old with something in her profile saying “New York City is my playground.” I reach out and say “Hey, good morning! You live in the city?”

Result? A response, but a day later. But, this conversation extended way longer than the previous one (I will spare you all the details). The week long discussion ended though, once I gave her my number. In retrospect, I may have given the number too early while in conversation. Or, I may not have shown too much of a sexual attraction to her (even though she is enormously attractive) in an attempt to not come off as strange. All things come to an end!

Fourth Match

Over 35 miles away. Another New Jersey girl makes an appearance. A young girl, 19 years old and it looks like she’s a dancer of some kind. In her profile, it said something along the lines of “This is my favorite game!” She has since changed it to “I’m here to make fun of you….” I send to her “Good morning! What are you up to?”

Result? No response, and not surprisingly. As she said, she considered it more of a game. In retrospect, why did I even send a message on this one?

Overall, not much happened with these First Four matches. What they did do for me is give me some solid experience with online interaction, and that’s a good thing. Gather from this what you will gentlemen. There is a common theme between each of these interactions, to which I will address at a later time. Hopefully this helps you all in some way. What did you notice between each of these interactions?

Currently Listening To:

Weezer – Dope Nose