Single Life: 3 Ways to Avoid First Date Awkwardness!!!

Things are going well, conversation is flowing, laughs are being had when all of a sudden, there’s a pause in conversation. That pause extends to a lapse in time, and that lapse soon becomes a huge awkward stare between your date and yourself. You’ve now gone down a rabbit hole that you can’t climb yourself out of. Everything you ask is now answered with one word.

You’re first date has officially become awkward and uncomfortable or everyone involved, including the waitstaff.

It’s happened to everyone at some point. I can recall a couple of times where conversation has stalled and attempts at reviving it were turned away. But since then, I’ve come across some methods of deterring this moment.

For God’s Sake, No Dinner!

This is a preemptive tactic. When setting up a first date with a member of the opposite sex, do not make dinner an option. Avoid it at all cost! I remember one time, when I was just back on the dating scene, that I asked a girl out to dinner at nice restaurant on the Upper West Side, Sarabeth’s (love this place). Over the course of the dinner, we had several pauses like I explained above. What made this worse is that we were the last ones in the restaurant since dinner lasted several hours. Upon leaving, I asked if she wanted a nightcap, which she declined. Moral of the story? Go for a drink (alcohol, coffee, shot of wheatgrass, etc.) instead, that way if one of you declines to have a beverage, it’s a social cue that the date should come to a close. That way, you can leave on a high note or cut out early if the date isn’t going well. No need to waste time with someone you aren’t interested in.

Play a Game

Whether it’s a card game (always bring a deck of cards to the bar, it’s a fun ice-breaker!) or one of those video games that are at the bar (Buckhunter, anyone?), play a game when you feel the date is starting to lose steam. It’a a fun way to get to know one another without all the questions, and a good way to get closer to each other. You can compete over who buys the next drink, or play a game of truth or dare over skeeball with the winner deciding the loser’s fate.

Make Mental Notes

If a person starts telling a story, but you have questions for them, leave the questions until the end of the story. No need to interrupt the story, they are giving you a glimpse into their life, and that’s a good thing. Plus, this will show that you are actually listening and interested in their life. Again, just a good way to keep the conversation going.

Arm yourselves with these tricks of the trade. While these will significantly reduce the likelihood of my situation, there is still a chance you can find yourself in an unwarranted staring contest. At the very least, you can turn that into a game!

Do you have any good first date stories?

Currently Listening To:

Fleetwood Mac – Go Your Own Way

 

The First Four Matches and Analysis

With the NCAA Tournament well underway with the First Four games of the tournament, I thought to myself “self, we should do our own First Four analysis!” About NCAA Basketball? While I’m sure I can make a valiant attempt at it, I probably couldn’t do it justice (at least not now anyway, and certainly not in this forum!). Instead, I will do an analysis of the First Four matches that I’ve had on Tinder!

Being brand spanking new to the scene, I was curious to see what would work and what didn’t. Through these introductory conversations, you can easily tell what works and what doesn’t. Perhaps this will be a help to all you guys out there, and you can do it while watching the NCAA Tournament!

First Match

Over 30 miles away from my central destination. Meaning she probably lives in New Jersey. She’s an attractive 29 year-old woman with a Bob Marley quote in her profile. Once I get the “match” notification from Tinder, I send a message to her. The message was, “Hi, Tinder said we liked each other haha. How are you?”

Result? No response. In retrospect, that introduction comes off a little weird. While weird works for me in the “real world” while meeting people (I’m more of a conversationalist), I understand it could be taken the wrong way online.

Second Match

About 15-20 miles away from my location. This is a little more tricky, as she could be anywhere from Brooklyn, Connecticut or anywhere in between. My guess is Brooklyn judging from her pictures, she had a bit of a hipster vibe. She has a fake name and a fake age (108!) listed on her profile, the only link into who she is revolves around a quote from C.S. Lewis, one that I enjoyed. I send over, “Hey, how’s it going? Nice CS Lewis quote.”

Result? A response! “Hey” and “It’s good rite?” Upon receiving these separate messages, I responded “I think so, gets ya thinking. What’s your name? And you look good for 108 haha.” Result? No response. In retrospect, perhaps it was too early to ask serious questions like I did and I should’ve just gone more into the quote. But, it was going to come sooner or later.

Third Match

Around 10-15 miles away from me. It is certain I’ve found someone who lives on the same island as me! Very exciting to say the least. Very attractive 23 year-old with something in her profile saying “New York City is my playground.” I reach out and say “Hey, good morning! You live in the city?”

Result? A response, but a day later. But, this conversation extended way longer than the previous one (I will spare you all the details). The week long discussion ended though, once I gave her my number. In retrospect, I may have given the number too early while in conversation. Or, I may not have shown too much of a sexual attraction to her (even though she is enormously attractive) in an attempt to not come off as strange. All things come to an end!

Fourth Match

Over 35 miles away. Another New Jersey girl makes an appearance. A young girl, 19 years old and it looks like she’s a dancer of some kind. In her profile, it said something along the lines of “This is my favorite game!” She has since changed it to “I’m here to make fun of you….” I send to her “Good morning! What are you up to?”

Result? No response, and not surprisingly. As she said, she considered it more of a game. In retrospect, why did I even send a message on this one?

Overall, not much happened with these First Four matches. What they did do for me is give me some solid experience with online interaction, and that’s a good thing. Gather from this what you will gentlemen. There is a common theme between each of these interactions, to which I will address at a later time. Hopefully this helps you all in some way. What did you notice between each of these interactions?

Currently Listening To:

Weezer – Dope Nose

Sports and Life

Of all the things in the world, at least to me, playing a sport of any kind is probably one of the most fun activities a person can do to pass the time.  It’s fun to score (don’t I know it!), hit, run and just plain beat a bunch of guys that you aren’t too fond of in the first place.  But looking back, sports have played an integral part in my development as a person.  Lessons that I have learned from playing, I have brought into my personal life as well.  It’s easy for someone to say that sports are a waste of time (let’s be honest, it’s mostly ladies saying this), I can definitely see their angle.  Whoever says this probably just sees someone staring at the television and yelling at a game while they are sitting on the couch.  That’s one aspect where it is probably more of a leisure activity (or a waste of time as I am sure some ladies would say).  But, playing sports can breed life lessons.  Unless you have played, it’s hard to comprehend the magnitude in which we, who have played, are affected by a “silly” game.

Hard Work

As an athlete, the older you get playing sports, the more you are introduced to better players.  With better players comes better competition for playing time, especially in the high school level and above.  So, in order to get yourself noticed, you work on your craft more.  To do this, you hone your skills more and you work out more.  You try to build up strength and endurance so you can compete at a higher level for longer, in comparison to your adversary whether they are a teammate or the opponent.  Hard work would put you in a better position to succeed.

This quality is great to have, in what aspect of life is hard work not necessary?  Overall, I’d rather have this quality than not have it.

Camaraderie

Playing teams sports almost inevitably brings togetherness to each of the individuals on the team.  Why?  Everyone has a single goal in mind, to be the best and defeat an opponent.  What comes with this quality is the idea of teamwork.  The ability to portray what you see to others so everyone is on the same page is integral.  Without teamwork, everyone works off of their own page and everyone is all over the place.

The ability to use camaraderie outside of the sports world is great.  To use it in the workplace is especially beneficial.  Imagine you are a manager of some kind, if all of your workers are striving for a clear goal, then everyone will work towards that goal in the best way possible.  Speaking your ideas clearly and concisely so everyone is on the same page is a skill that is necessary in a leadership position.

Competitive Nature

I mentioned competition earlier, but to have a competitive nature encourages you to be better.  The ability to compete and not give up is needed in endurance sports.  We all have that voice inside of us that tells us to quit, but to be competitive means that you are able to make that voice shut up.  You can break through walls that others cannot.

There are times in life where that voice arises in us.  Those that can quiet that voice have the ability to achieve their goals with dedication more than those that just quit when things get tough.  Would you prefer to be strong or weak willed?

There are qualities that playing sports nurtures, these are some of those qualities.  Hard work, camaraderie (teamwork), and having competitive nature are a few of these characteristics.  Perhaps this is why men are so engrossed in watching sports on television, it brings us back to our youth when we first developed these traits.  So next time someone says that sports are a waste of time, repeat what I have said.  Sports serve a purpose, and this purpose can shape our lives.

What else have sports taught you?

Currently Listening To:

Alice in Chains – Man in the Box