Three Reasons To Put A Smile On Your Face

The City is cold and full of smile-less faces. As it gets closer and closer to the winter months here in the Northeast, the looks and scowls on people’s faces look more and more sad as each day goes by. Why can’t we all just smile a little more?

I’ve been traveling through NYC a lot more recently due to a recent change in lifestyle. I’ve always been the one in my group of friends to just randomly head in to the city and spend a day just doing whatever my little heart desired. Now, I’m in there often enough to notice a lot of things I’ve never seen before. One thing I found troubling is the lack of smiles.

Smiling is Contagious

People walk stone-faced down the streets of Manhattan. I’ve observed this behavior and wondered why it has to be so? A smile doesn’t hurt anybody, and if anything, it helps! I remember reading a book by Malcolm Gladwell before my freshman year of college, and in it he said that smiling is known to be contagious (in addition to this, yawning is contagious, which is why I notice a bunch of people yawn at the same time on the subway now). If smiling is contagious, wouldn’t we all just be doing ourselves a favor by spreading a little joy throughout the course of our day? It doesn’t take much, just a smile.

Smiling Burns Calories

Not only is a smile contagious, but it could help when you want to burn those extra calories. While I don’t recall the exact numbers, I do recall that a smile burns more calories than a frown does. In a health-conscious world that is obsessed with burning calories at all hours of the day, you would think that smiling would be more prevalent in our everyday interactions. But, they are not. Over the course of a year, I can see smiling being the difference in a pound or two if it is done consistently.

Smiling is Attractive

Now this is one area where I don’t need any science or readings to back me up, only personal experience. Try this little experiment with the opposite sex. Stare at a person that you find attractive, and smile at them, then find someone else that you are attracted to and stare with a frown at them. Chances are you will get a better reaction with the smile. Women will find this easier, but men should try to catch a glance from a member of the opposite sex. This is basically to show how much better a smile is in comparison to a frown.

While I can’t expect this “smile movement” to happen right away, it would be a welcome sight to see someone smiling while walking through the streets of NYC. If I were to see this, I know I wouldn’t be able to contain myself and smile back.

Let’s start something worth smiling about.

Currently Listening To:

Jason Derulo – In My Head

Single Life: A Girl Told me a Game of Thrones Theory, Now I Won’t Speak to Her Again!!!

I went out on a date with a girl that told me a Game of Thrones Theory while on our date. And because of that, I will not be seeing her again.

There are some things that bother me a ton. One of those that bothers me a lot is people that spoil movies, books, TV shows, or anything else you can think of. I can’t stand spoilers! Especially after I’ve told someone that I am currently reading the books and they continue with their proclamation of this theory that could, or could not, be correct. It was something to think about and interesting, but it’s not something I wanted to hear.

Basically, I went out on a date with a girl to grab a drink and see if there was any chemistry there. She was very laid-back and definitely easy to get along with. Then came the Game of Thrones discussion. She asked, “do you watch Game of Thrones?”

This is where I had to put my defenses up. “Yes, I do. I’m also in the middle of reading the fourth book currently. I’m in a hurry to find out what happens! Please don’t spoil anything for me!” I laughed while saying this, but I was serious. I really do want to find out, on my own, what happens in the books that are available. She seemed to acknowledge this, but continued on with this theory (I will not spoil it for you, but I’m sure you can find a spoiler if you’d like).

My entire mood shifted after her babbling. I was less responsive to conversation and was just annoyed mostly. She left a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, come on dude! I told you not to say anything that would spoil the books for me! She didn’t delve too deeply into the theory, but she went deep enough.

This is a deal-breaker for me. Don’t be a spoiler! To me, it shows that the person is a bit of a gossip. Also, it shows that she can’t keep things to herself (similar to gossip, but this includes the whole spoiler thing). So, it’s not just that she spoiled the books, it’s all this other stuff that is associated with this that I can’t stand.

And being around a person who is a spoiler sucks.

What are some of your deal-breakers?

Currently Listening To:

Jimmy Eat World – The Middle

An Honest Pickup Line Works… Maybe?

Pickup lines are meant to show off some sort of wit and intelligence, usually. Or, they could be used to show off the ability to get laughs. What about being honest when approaching a woman. Can an honest pickup line actually work?

I recently saw the above video where a guy asked 200 women in Europe for sex (this is something I could’ve seen myself doing, so jealous he did it first!). His success rate is about one or two out of 200 hundred. A .5%-1% success rate is not terrible considering the forward nature of the question he’s asking combined with the environment that he is in. While I admire this, I did take something away from his approach.

It basically went like this; “Hey, I just thought you were cute…”

After the leader of this social experiment would say this, it would usually illicit a response from the woman he would be talking to. Whether it was a laugh, a smile, a flick of the hair, etc., something would come of it. That is before things would come crashing down 99% of the time afterwards, of course. But, I saw potential in there, somewhere, for success.

That initial approach is something to learn from. I’ve never really gone up to someone and say “Hi, I just saw you from across the way and thought you were cute.” To my recollection, I have never been that straightforward in my come-ons to women. After seeing this video, I figured, with a little amending to the conversation that I witnessed in said video, that it could be a legitimate ice-breaker when talking to a woman. I needed to put this into use sometime soon.

My first opportunity came about a week ago. I was out in the City hanging out with a friend of mine when I saw a girl that worked at the bar as a greeter or hostess of some kind. I usually have a rule about hitting on women that work for an establishment (I’ll save that for another time), but I decided to put that aside and see if this girl would be receptive to my newly found pickup line. I mean, in the name of science, of course!

So, I proceeded to try and woo her. She was a tattooed lady on her arms and on her chest, there’s just something about that look that I love. I like different (all shapes and sizes are fine with me!)! When I used my newfound line, she laughed. It broke the ice and we began to talk a bit. I left her to her job at times and returned to my friend to see how things were going, but I would return to talk with the hostess. As things continued to progress, and when I thought things were going well, I asked for her name and number. She said her name is Maria and couldn’t give out her number, but that she works at the place six nights a week. Now, she could’ve been working me over to try and get some sort of credibility with her boss and business for the bar, or she could’ve been interested and really couldn’t do something like that in front of her manager. Regardless of what her reasoning was, the line did its job.

It broke the ice to make conversation.

While this has been the first, and only, use so far, it proved quite successful. I will have to utilize this line a few more times to get a better grasp of it. But, once I do, you will hear the outcome, no matter what it is.

What do you think of honesty as a pickup line?

P.S. – How appropriate is the song!? Longer version is from the show The Heights, back from the early 90’s. I loved the grainy footage.

Currently Listening To:

Jamie Walters – How Do You Talk To An Angel

A License to Creep the #selfie on Instagram

Instagram is pretty creepy. What’s even more interesting is that people sort of welcome it!

For those who are frequent users of the phone app, you definitely can see that there is a little bit of vanity (and by a little I mean a ton!) involving the pictures. By now, most of you should know about the whole #selfie phenomenon, and this app is basically what spawned, and spread, its usage. The biggest culprits of this vanity, by far, is women.

Now, this is what has confused me since I started seeing these #selfies. Women have always feared being creeped out by men, but with the #selfies that they post on these social media outlets, Instagram in particular, it makes it easy for guys to “get their creep on,” even with these women’s knowledge. Seeing these pictures with hundreds of “likes” underneath show that there are people looking and obviously enjoying what they are seeing. Why is this promoted online?

I understand why seeing someone blatantly ogling a woman with intent is a creepy action. Believe me, I get it. But, isn’t it basically the same thing when it’s done online? If a girl takes a semi-nude photo (basically in her underwear, or even in a bathing suit) and she can see guys making comments like “you sexy mami” and reaching hundreds of “likes” on the picture, it makes it difficult to separate what is proper procedure when that behavior is rewarded with more pictures. While I don’t tolerate it (although some have accused me of my natural aptitude for creepiness), it does make being a creep in person more likely to occur. If this behavior is condoned in the online universe by taking more semi-nude pictures, then those same guys will expect the same to occur in everyday life.

To add to this confusion, some women use their Instagram as a way to tease guys. With suggestive hashtags ranging from #thirsty to #youwantme (both with sexual overtones), these women are inviting men to take action in some way. The easiest way is to catcall. I’m sure there are also worse ways to take action.

Now, I’m not saying that women should stop posting these pictures (I enjoy viewing them just as any other red-blooded American male would!), but women should know that putting these pictures up does condone creepy behavior. These women are facilitating and feeding the #thirst of men, and they are loving it (just admit it, you do!)! There is some gratification there that women must feel when they see a bunch of guys “liking” their picture. It builds up a woman’s self-confidence and decreases their insecurities, how could it not?

That is perhaps part of the reason these girls consistently put these photos up, for the self-confidence they gain from it. Insecurity runs rampant in everyone. It’s either that, or they are narcissists. Confidence is good, but an overt amount of self-admiration leading to narcissism is not good. But, these are two reasons why people put up these pictures. That’s right, I said people. Guys are guilty of doing this as well, especially guys that are really proud of their bodies, which leads me to believe that, for guys at least, it’s more along the narcissism side.

This is a subject that really intrigues me, and I’m not sure anyone has completely looked into it as of yet, as it is still relatively new. But, from what I can tell, women should be wary of what they are allowing others to see. Creepy behavior is something that will just come with the territory in the world of semi-nude #selfies.

Currently Listening To:

The Police – Every Breath You Take

Thoughts: 30 Isn’t So Bad

It’s been about four months after I turned 30, and what I’ve come up with shouldn’t be a shock.

30 isn’t all that bad.

From friends that I’ve talked to, they seem to dread the number (I dreaded it a little bit as well, but I played it cool). While I haven’t gotten a straight answer other than “It’s because I’m 30!!!” I think it has to do with that we never thought of reaching this age when we were younger. It’s all about that mindset that we have, or what age we still feel like in our mind. For me, I still feel like I was back in college, I make mention of it here in more detail.

What have I taken away from my experience of 30 so far? It’s an achievement to have made it this far, but there is still so much more to do! I’m not settled with where I’m at in life, but that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy with my situation. At least not now, anyway.

For the first time in a couple of years, I feel like I’m going in the right direction. Things are going well in all facets of life. The only area where I’m having a bit of an issue is settling down with a woman that captivates me, but that’s something I’ve been working on over the last four months.

It started with being more proactive, finally succumbing to the “online dating” situation, but only so far as Tinder will allow. Put this in with the other ways that I meet women, in person, and I’ve dated more now than at any other point in my life. And I’m talking dating, not just randomly “hooking up” with girls. But, there has been that as well. Now I can’t lie that I have been attracted to some of these women on another level than what I usually am, but things just never came out of it. Things happen, but this is an area that I am working on and something that I think needs to happen eventually.

I’m still keeping fit and eating healthy, which is something I’ve done consistently over the last few years and I think has helped me to look and feel young (I gotta admit, I love the compliments I keep hearing from people! Keep’em coming!). But, I have learned to enjoy the tastiness of ice cream, fried foods, candies and cookies more. There is some leeway for moderation, and some people are not meant to go totally “hardcore” like I do. There are other “makes and models” of humans, this works for me and I need to learn that not everyone fits into the same mold.

The last thing I’ve learned as 30 has come is to enjoy your time with both friends and family. Time is limited the older you get. Friends and family of mine are getting married, having babies and starting families of their own. They don’t have the same time to devote to pointless things as they used to, like playing video games or driving around aimlessly in search of adventure. Everyone is already in some sort of adventure. So when you are with either family or friends, enjoy the time you have together.

These are just some things that I’ve noticed about 30, and getting older in general. I know there are some people that are reading this thinking either “no way, you don’t know what you are talking about. 30 is so far away!” or “well, you think that right now, but wait what happens over the next few years. You’ll change your thoughts completely!”

I look forward to both responses, let me know what you think of these observations!

Currently Listening To:

Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares 2 U