My Brother Ate my Pizza… Now he Must DIE!!!

There’s one thing you should know about me, I’m very possessive about my food. When the food is in front of me, it’s all for me, it’s my own, my precioussssss…

On Friday, my mom went into Brooklyn to visit some family that we have in there (while I was busy at work, not fun). What she came back with later on that night was nothing short of awesome. My Aunt Mary made a cheesecake flan (very tasty) and mom brought back another treat, L&B’s Pizza from Spumoni Gardens. It’s a little something we get every time we head into Brooklyn, we can’t get enough of the “inside-out” pizza.  Why do I call it that? Simple! The cheese is laid onto the dough first and then the sauce is layered onto it while parmesan cheese and oil tops it, and it’s all square slices. The sauce is so tangy and sweet, I love it, by far my favorite part of the pizza. When mom came home, I immediately had a slice with as much sauce as possible and devoured it!

Let’s fast forward to Saturday afternoon. I came back from an afternoon of golfing, looking forward to eating a couple of slices of my beloved L&B’s. But, to my surprise, the slices were all gone! All that was left was one, teeny, tiny slice. I knew who the culprit was immediately. My evil and conniving brother had swiped the slices from underneath my nose while I was out golfing. That sneaky little bugger robbed me blind. All of my excitement left me, and anger filled my cheeks. I couldn’t wait to bite into that delicious, saucy pizza, but my brother stole that joy from me. HE STOLE IT FROM ME!!!

I called him as soon as my senses recovered, berated him and told him “a cracka is gonna die tonight!” The whole time, I could hear him laughing on the other side of the line. When he finally had a chance to speak, the only thing he could say was “Rob, it was so good!” Those words put me on a rampage! If you are wondering why I dug into him so much, aside from the fact that I LOVE that pizza, he made it a point to belittle the glory of L&B’s pizza and say it’s not even that good. It’s not even that good, YET HE DEVOURED MORE SLICES THAN I DID!!! That is why, my brother must pay…

After hearing those words leave his lips and travel through the phone line, I formulated a plan that will be put in affect sometime soon, when exactly I do not know. It could be tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year, but it will happen. Just when he least expects it, when he feels safe, that’s when I will strike! Vengeance is best served cold, that’s what they all say, but I hope it’s served with a side of hot and tasty slice of L&B’s inside-out pizza!

Lesson here, don’t mess with this man’s food!

Currently Listening To:

Modest Mouse – Float On